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Ahabanza Blog Page 68

KWIKINISHA: Igikorwa kitavugwaho rumwe n’abantu benshi, Reba ibyiza n’ibibi byabyo.

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KWIKINISHA: Igikorwa kitavugwaho rumwe n’abantu benshi, Reba ibyiza n’ibibi byabyo.

Kwikinisha bimaze kuba umuco mubantu benshi, bamwe mu babikora bemeza ko ari uburyo bwiza bwo gusobanukirwa umubiri wawe, ibi rero ngo bituma ubikoze yumva anezerewe ndetse bikamufasha guhaza irari ry’ibyerekeye imibonano mpuzabitsina bitamusabye gushaka uwo bayikorana.

Ubushakashatsi bumwe bwerekana neza ko uretse ibinyoma akenshi bihimbwa n’abagamije gucuruza, ubundi kwikinisha mu gihe cya nyacyo nta ngaruka zikomeye bigira kubuzima bw’umuntu. Icyakora ubundi bukavuga ko byangiza umubiri wawe ndetse n’ubuzima bwawe bwa buri munsi mugihe ubigize akamenyero muburyo buhoraho.

Icyakora igice kinini cy’abantu bemeza ko kwikinisha ari bibi ndetse ko bigira ingaruka mbi kubuzima.

Ariko se mu by’ukuri ibibi byo kwikinisha nibihe?
Ubusanzwe ikintu gishobora kukugira ingaruka ariko ugasanga atari ingaruka zigaragara inyuma ku mubiri. Ninayo mpamvu iyo bigeze ku ngingo yo kwikinisha usanga abantu benshi iyo babikoze basigarana ikimeze nk’ikimwaro ndetse n’ubwoba ko bishobora kubabaho karande.

Ku ngingo y’ikimwaro no kwishinja icyaha, akenshi usanga abantu babigira biturutse ku muco waho umuntu akomoka, imitekerereze ku mutima we cyangwa se idini asengeramo. Ababikora bavuga ko ubusanzwe kwikinisha atari ikintu kibi, cyangwa se cy’ubugwari. Ariko nanone kurundi ruhande uwabikoze iyo yibutse ko igikorwa ubundi cy’abantu babiri agikoze wenyine usanga asigara yigaya ndetse agatangira kwiyumvisha ko haricyo abura mumubiri we. amadini hafi ya yose afata kwikinisha nk’icyaha, ninayo mpamvu umuntu usenga iyo yikinishije asigarana icyoba cyinshi kuko nubundi biba bifatwa nk’ubusambanyi.

Kuba imbata yo kwikinisha nabyo nimwe mu ngaruka zo kwikinisha, hari abantu usanga barabaswe no kwikinisha cyane kurenza uko buri wese yabyumva, ibi rero ni bibi cyane kuko bishobora kwangiza ubuzima bwawe. Nubona umwanya wawe munini uwuta mu kwikinisha uzamenye ko kakubabyeho, ibi bikurikira nibimwe mu byerekana umuntu wabaye imbata yo kwikinisha:

▪Guhagarika imirimo yawe ya buri munsi uri kwikinisha
▪Gusiba/gukererwa akazi cyangwa ishuri uri kwikinisha
▪Gusubika gahunda wari ufitanye na bagenzi bawe
Kubura mu birori binyuranye bihuza urungano uri kkwikinisha

Kwikinisha birenze urugero byangiza umubano ufitanye na bagenzi bawe, bishobora kukwicira ubuzima muburyo bwa burundu, kubera ko bishobora gutuma wirukanwa kukazi/ ku ishuri. Uretse ibyo bishobora kugutandukanya n’umukunzi wawe kuko bigeraho ukamuburira igihe cyo kumwitaho bitewe nuko ibyo wari kumukurikiraho uba wabyisoreje.

Kwikinisha nubwo uwubikoze haribyo aruhuka ariko burya bivugwa ko bigira ingaruka mbi ku bagabo kurusha ku bagore, bivugwa ku bagore basanzwe batagira ubushake bwinshi bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina, kwikinisha bishobobora kubongerera irari ry’imibonano mpuzabitsina. Ni mugihe ku bagabo bakunda kwikinisha ahubwo usanga bitandukanye kuko bibagabanyiriza ubushobozi bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina.
Ibyiza byo kwikisha nibi:

Bimwe mubyo kwikinisha bifasha ababikora harmimo:
▪kugabanya umunaniro wo mu mutwe
▪gusinzira neza
▪umunezero
▪kwimara ipfa/irari ry’imibonano mpuzabitsina
▪Kubona ibyishimo udategereje undi muntu
▪Birinda indwara zandurira mumibonano mpuzabitsina.

Ku bagore batwite mu gihe bagirwa yo kudakora imibonano mpuzabitsina inshuro nyinshi, bivugwa ko kwikinisha aribwo buryo bwabafasha kwimara irari ry’imibonano mpuzabitsina, ibi kandi ngo bibafasha kwivura umunaniro uba uri mu mugongo. Icyakora hari ubundi bushakashatsi buvuga ko kwikinisha ku bagore batwite bishobora kubabyarira ibindi bibazo mu mubiri imbere ndetse no ku mwana atwite.

Sobanukirwa byinshi ushobora kuba utaruzi ku bijyane n’ubugumba (Kutabyara).

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Sobanukirwa byinshi ushobora kuba utaruzi ku bijyane n’ubugumba (Kutabyara).

Burya igitsina gabo gitangira kugira ubushobozi bwo kubyara kuva umwana w’ubuhungu abaye ingimbi kugeza avuye mubuzima bwo kuriyi si. Igitsina gore cyo gitangira kugira ubushobozi bwo gutanga urubyaro kuva umwana w’ubukobwa abaye umwangavu kugeza mu gihe cyo gucura (menopause).

Iki gihe cyo gucura ku bagore ahanini usanga kibarirwa ku myaka 45, nubwo hari abagore bamwe na bamwe bagiye bashobora gusama nyuma yiyo myaka ariko ntibikunze kubaho cyane. Bitandukanye n’abagabo bashobora gutanga intanga zivamo umwana ubuzima bwabo bwose, kubagore siko bimeze kubera ko baba bafite intanga ziri ku mubare ntarengwa. Abagore benshi bivugwa ko baba bafite amagi agera kuri miliyoni imwe mu mirerantanga yabo. Ni mugihe abagabo bashobora gukora intanga zibarirwa mu ma miliyoni menshi ku munsi umwe.

Ubushakashatsi bugereranya ko umubiri w’umugabo ukora uturemangingo tw’intanga tugera ku 1500 ku isegonda rimwe. Kugira ngo umugabo asohore intanga inshuro imwe gusa, haba hakozwe intanga zirenga miliyari umunani. Abagabo bashobora gukora intanga burimunsi, ariko kubagore siko bimeze kuko umubiri wabo nta bushobozu ufite bwo gukora kururwo rugero. Bizwiko ahubwo umugore akora intanga imwe rukumbi mukwezi kose, ibi nibyo benshi bita kujya mu mihango. Ibi rero bituma umugore ashobora gutanga urubyaro iminsi micye mukwezi, ni muminsi micye ikikije umunsi nyakuri agiraho mu mihango.

Nyuma yiyo mihango ya ntanga ye ishobora kubaho amasaha macye ari hagati ya 12 na 24. Intanga ngabo ishobora kumara iminsi hagati y’ibiri n’itatu nyuma yuko yinjiye mu myanya myibarukiro y’umugore. Uburumbuke bw’umugore mu gutanga urubyaro bugenda bukendera iyo ageze mu myaka 30, abagore bari munsi y’imyaka 30 baba bafite amahirwe yo gusama muburyo busanzwe angana na 25%. Hejuru y’imyaka 30 rero biragabuka bikagera kuri 20%, ku myaka 40 aya mahirwe aramanuka cyane Akagera kuri 5%.

Ku bagabo amahirwe yo gutanga urubyaro atangira kugabanukaho iyo bageze mu myaka 40 na 45. Ahanini biterwa n’imisemburo nka testosterone iba itangiye kugabanuka mu mubiri. Ikindi kandi ingano ndetse n’ubudahangarwa bw’intanga nabyo bitangira kugabanuka. gutanga urubyaro ku bagore ahanini usanga biterwa n’inkomoko, ibi rero bituma bavukana umubare utandukanye w’amagi avamo intanga zishobora gutanga urubyaro.

Ubugumba bugira ingaruka ku mugabo no ku mugore, ibibazo bituruka ku mikoreshereze mibi y’imiti no kwivuza bigira uruhare rungana na 40% ku bugumba bwibasira igitsina gore, 30% by’abantu babuze urubyari usanga biri ku bagabo, kukigero cya 20% usanga ubugumbu bwaribasiye umugore n’umugabo icyarimwe. Ubugumba bwibasira abagabo ahanini usanga buturuka kubuzima umuntu yanyuzemo, bushobora kuba bwaragize ingaruka zikomeye ku nzira z’imibereho y’intanga.

Ubugumba ku bagabo kandi bushobora no guturuka ku bisanira (imiryango), ingano y’umubiri w’umuntu (uburemere) nabyo bishobora gutera ubugumba yaba ku mugabo no kumugore. Kugira umubyibuho ukabije (ibiro birengeje urugero) cyangwa se kugira ibiro bicye cyane bishobora kubangamira imyanya y’imyororokere y’umubiri w’umuntu yaba umugore cyangwa umugabo. Ku kigero cya 12% abagore bafite ikibazo cy’ubugumba usanga barabutewe no kugira ibiro birengeje urugero cyangwa ugasanga afite ibiro bidashyitse (bicye cyane kuburyo bukabije).

Kunywa itabi nabyo bishobora kugira uruhare mubugumba bw’umugabo cyangwa umugore, bivugwa ko itabi rigira uruhare rwa 13% mugutera abantu ubugumba.

Wari uziko atari byiza kwambika umwana muto agapfukamunwa. Menya impamvu.

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Wari uziko atari byiza kwambika umwana muto agapfukamunwa. Menya impamvu.

Ababyeyi baragirwa inama yo kutambika abana babo udupfukamunwa, cyane cyane abana bafite imyaka itatu gusubiza hasi.

Ikigo gishinzwe ubuzima mu bwongereza kiraburira abatuye isi ko kwambika aba bana udupfukamunwa, bishobora kubatera ibibazo mu buhemekero ndetse bakaba bashobora guhura nikibazo cyo kubura umwuka (asphyxia) ndetse bakaba banapfa kubera umwuka mucye. Uku kuburira abantu bose byatangajwe mu gihe mu bwongereza hasohotse itegeko ko buri muntu wese ugiye mubantu agomba kwambara agapfukamunwa cyane cyane ahahurira abantu benshi nko mu isoko.

Aba batangiye kubigiraho ikibazo nyuma yahoo udupfukamunwa twatangiye kugurishwa no mu bana bato. Profeseri Viv Bennett avuga ko bakimara kumva ibigo by’ubucuruzi byamamaza ko byazanye udupfukamunwa tw’abana bato ndetse n’abigiye hejuru byahise bibatera impungenge. Uyu yagize ati: “ubutumwa buburira burahari kandi burasobanutse neza, abana bafite imyaka itatu no munsi yayo ntibakwiye kwambara udupfukamunwa cyangwa ikindi gitwikira mu isura”.

Yakomeje agira ati: “utu dupfukamunwa ntibakwiye kudukoresha na gato, nukubera ko dushobora gutuma inzira zitwara umwuka zifunga ndetse bigatuma umwana abura umwuka wo guhumeka akaba yanapfa. Niba wowe cyangwa umwana wawe agaragaza ibimenyetso bya Covid-19 ukwiye kwipimisha ubundi ukaguma ahantu hamwe kugeza igihe uboneye ibisubizo byuko muhagaze”.

Leta zimwe na zimwe zagiye zibisobanura neza ko umwana kimwe nundi muntu wese udafite ubushobozi bwo kuba yakwikuriramo agapfukamunwa, uwo adakwiye no kukambara cyangwa ngo akambikwe, sibyiza ako igikoresho cyakabaye kirinda umuntu cyane cyane umwana ahubwo aricyo gishobora kumwangiza. Ubusanzwe inzira z’ubuhemekero ku bana bato ziba zitaragira ubwirinzi buhagije, iyo hajemo rero no kugorana mu guhumeka biba ikibazo gikomeye cyane kuri bo.

Buri wese rero akwiye kumenya umuntu wagakwiye kwambara agapfukamunwa ndetse nuwukwije imyaka yo kukambara akakambara neza.

Mu by’ukuri wowe ubona ariki gituma utagira umukunzi? Dore icyo wakora ukamubona bitakugoye.

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Mu by’ukuri wowe ubona ariki gituma utagira umukunzi? Dore icyo wakora ukamubona bitakugoye.

Ugendeye kuri siyansi, cyangwa se ukagendera ku bitekerezo bya benshi mu batuye isi, bakubwira ko urukundo aricyo kintu cya mbere cyiza yaba mu mitekerereze ya muntu, mu mibereho mubuzima busanzwe ndetse no mu myemerere, ni muri urwo rwego burya urukundo bigoranye kugira ikindi kintu ubigereranya.

Icyakora nubwo aruko biri, abandi bemeza ko kubona urukundo rwa nyarwo aricyo kintu kigoye kurusha ibindi. Akenshi umuntu mukundana ndetse mugakomezanya ubuzima siwe muntu uba warakuze utekereza cyangwa wiyumvamo. Muri macye dore ibintu byagufasha kubona umukunzi bitakugoye na gato.

Burya ntukibwire ko urukundo rwa nyarwo ugenda urushakisha, ahubwo rurakwizanira.
Umwalimu muri kaminuza ya Washington witwa Pepper Schwartz asanzwe ari inzobere mu mibanire n’abantu, uyu avuga ko urukundo burya ari nk’akazi kuko ngo akazi nako ntikabonwa n’umuntu ugashakisha kurusha abandi ahubwo hari nigihe kakugwirira utari ugakeneye cyane mugihe wawundi wirirwa ashakisha ashobora kumara igihe kinini ntacyo arageraho. Avuga ko bishoboka ko washakakisha uwo mukundana kubw’amahirwe ukabona ariko ngo ni gacye cyane biba. Yemeza ko umuntu w’ukuri mukundana ndetse mukaba mwazanabana ngo muhura by’impanuka ntanumwe wabitekerezaga. Akangurira abantu bose kudateshwa umutwe no gushaka umukunzi w’ukuri kuko isaha n’isaha akwizanira utabitekerezaga.

Niba ushaka umukunzi ujye ukunda kujya ahari abantu bakunda ibyo nawe ukunda cyane
Singombwa kujya aho abandi bantu bashaka ko ujya, ahubwo ukwiye kujya ahahurira abantu benshi ariko bakunda ibyo nawe ukunda. Prof Pepper avuga ko ibi bikorohera iyo ukora ibyo ukunda kuko ninabwo ubona abakunda ibyukunda. Nujya mu ishyaka rya politiki burya uzaba ufite amahirwe yo kuhahurira nabo mufite ibyiyumviro bimwe, nujya mu mikino runaka nabwo nuko bizamera, bishobora no kuragira uhakuye urukundo.

Niba ushaka urukundo rw’ukuri, ntugakunde kubana n’abakunda kuryoshya.
Ibi nukubera ko burya umuntu mubana mu buzima bwo kuryoshya usanga nta gahunda y’igihe kirekire iba ihari, ahubwo nibyiza kugendana n’umuntu mupanga imishinga y’igihe kirekire. Ibi bituma no mu bihe bibi wa muntu aba ahari, mu gihe wawundi wikundira kuryoshya aba yifuza kubaho mu buzima buryoshye gusa. Ukwiye kwibanda ku muntu uhora ashaka ibitekerezo bishya muri wowe ndetse nawe akabiguha, naho wawundi ukoza ibirenge mumeze neza gusa biba bigoranye ko yazavamo urukundo rw’ukuri.

Ukwiye kujya ubaho ugaragaraza umunezero ku maso
Ushobora kuba udafite umukunzi atari uko yabuze, ahubwo ahanini bituruka ku myitwarire yawe ya buri munsi. Wowe ubwawe niba uhorana umunabi, ushobora kugira uruhare mu gutuma ntanumwe utekereza no kukwikoza. Ukwiye kumenya ko umunezero ubwawo ukurura abantu benshi. Abantu nibakubona uhora ukeye ku maso burya nabo bifuza ku kuba iruhande bakagusobanukirwa kuko ntanumwe uba ukwishisha.

Niba uhorana umunabi, nta kizere wigirira wowe ubwawe, cyangwa burigihe ugahora ugaragaza ko ntakiza cyaturuka mubantu, uba uri kwiyicira amahirwe yo kubona umukunzi ugukwiye. Niba urangwa niyi myitwarire ukwiye kureba muganga akakugira inama, ukwiye kujya imyitozo ngororamubiri ukagabanya kwiheba ndetse ugahindura imirire kuko nayo yabigiramo uruhare.

Niba kandi ugira isoni zo kwegera umuntu ngo mutangire ikiganiro, gerageza uzigabanye, kuganira na bagenzi bawe, gusoma ibitabo, gusura imbuga za internet ni bimwe mu bishobora kugufasha kumenya uko wakwitwara ngo ukosore imyitwarire yawe ya buri munsi.

Dore impamvu zifatika zituma ukwiriye kujya uryamana cyane nabo mukorana.

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Dore impamvu zifatika zituma ukwiriye kujya uryamana cyane nabo mukorana.

Kuba inshuti zisanzwe nabantu mukorana burya nibyiza cyane, ariko nanone biza kuba byiza kurushaho iyo mubaye inshuti zikomeye kugeza naho muryamana. Ushobora kwibaza ko ibi arubusazi, ariko siko bimeze kuko ibi bizatuma yaba akazi kawe kagenda neza ndetse n’ikigo mukorera gitere imbere kurushaho.

Ndabizi kugeza nubu hari benshi batari kwiyumvisha ukuntu kuryamana hagati y’abantu bakora akazi kamwe, ari byiza ariko nibyo tugiye kugusobanurira muriyi nkuru. Ndetse komeza usome urebe impamvu zose zigomba gutuma utangira kuryamana na bagenzi bawe mukorana ndetse ibi byaba byiza abakozi benshi mukigo kimwe bagiye baryamana hagati yabo.

Bituma habaho ubumwe mubakozi: Ibi nukubera ko umuntu muryamana burya akenshi nubundi muba mwamaze kuba umwe, ibi rero bituma no mukazi mukomeza guhuza. Abakoresha benshi ndetse ibi ninabyo baba bifuza kuko iyo mwunze ubumwe mukora akazi neza ntabindi byo hanze mutekereza.

Akazi karakuryohera: Igihe cyose umuntu muryamana akorera ahantu hamwe nawe, burigihe uba wumva ukumbuye kukazi. Iyuri murugo uba wumva ubihiwe kuko uba waramenyereye kwiriranwa n’umukunzi wawe. Akazi karakuryohera cyane iyuzi neza ko nyuma y’akazi uri bwihembe imibonano mpuzabitsina ndetse nibindi bijyana n’urukundo.

Mu gihe uryamanye n’umukoresha wawe biba byiza kurushaho: Ntawe turi gukangurira gukorana imibonano n’abakozi be cyangwa n’abakoresha ariko ukwiye kumenya ko kuryamana na boss wawe harigihe ubyungukiramo cyane kurusha uko ari agasuzuguro nkuko bamwe babikeka. Ibi bishobora gutuma uzamurirwa umushahara cyangwa se ukazamurwa mu nzego kukazi kandi wanabonye ibyishimo by’umubiri.

Biguha umwanya w’imitekerereze mishya: Burya nta muntu muhuriza kubitekerezo byubaka, nk’umuntu mumaze kuryamana. Igihe cyose rero uhuza numwe mubo mukorana ninaho uzasanga umunsi kuwundi uhorana udushya kukazi kuko uba ufite umwunganizi muribyose kuri ako kazi.

Byoroshya ubuzima: Ibi nukubera ko ntagihe cyo guta umwanya ugira, abantu benshi usanga babura umwanya wo kuvugisha abakunzi babo, biturutse ku kuba badakora hamwe cyangwa se ugasanga kenshi bakora no mu bice bitandukanye by’igihugu. Ariko nanone iyo mukora hamwe murahorana ndetse mwese biborohera gupanga umwanya mwiza wo guhura mukaruhuka mumutwe kandi n’akazi kagakomeza.

Ese wowe wizera ko kuryamana nabo mukorana byateza akazi kawe imbere, cyane ahubwo ubona byakica?. Tubwire uko ubibona.

Dore bimwe mu bintu ukwiye kwitwararika mbere yuko usomana n’umuntu mudasanganywe.

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Dore bimwe mu bintu ukwiye kwitwararika mbere yuko usomana n’umuntu mudasanganywe.

Abahanga bemeza ko burya ari igitekerezo cyiza gutekereza ku kurinda ubuzima bwawe mbere yuko wowe nundi muntu mutangira kujya mubikorwa biganisha ku mibonano mpuzabitsina. Ibi mugomba kubyitaho ndetse mukabitekerezaho mu rwego rwo kugabanya uburwayi mushobora guhuriramo nabwo.

Gusomana rero ni kimwe mubintu bya mbere ku isi, bimaze kugaragaza ko bikorwa n’abantu benshi batangiye kwiyumvanamo. Gusomana bishobora kuba iby’akanya gato cyangwa se umwanya muremure cyane, bitewe nurwego mugezeho. Icya mbere ukwiye kumenya nuko gusomana mu gihe cy’amasegonda icumi gusa, bituma habaho kwinjiza cyangwa koherereza mugenzi wawe bagiteri (bactery) zirenga miliyoni 80.

Iyusomana n’umuntu mugurana amacandwe, ubu rero nuburyo bwiza bwo kwanduzanya indwara zinyuranye, ibi bivuze ko ntanumwe ushobora gusimbuka uyu mutego uteze mu gusomana. Reka tukwereke zimwe mu ndwara nyinshi zandurira byoroshye mu gusomana, akaba arinayo mpamvu ukwiye kumenya ubuzima bwawe na mugenzi uko buhagaze mbere yo kumuha umunwa wawe.

Byanduza Mburugu (Syphilis): mburugu nimwe mu ndwara zandurira mu mibonano mpuzabitsina, icyakora ntibisaba guhuza ibitsina burigihe ngo ubone kuyandura, ahubwo iyumuntu yamaze kumurenga ashobora no kuyikwanduza umusomye gusa. Uretse iyi mburugu, gusomana byanduzanya nizindi ndwara nk’imitezi.

Kurwara indwara zibasira amenyo: twabonye ko mu masegonda 10 gusa ushobora kwinjiza udukoko tunyuranye turenga miliyoni 80, ibi rero bituma amenyo, ishinya ndetse n’ibindi bice byo mu kanwa bihura nutwo dukoko duturutse muwundi muntu, aha haziramo n’indwara z’amenyo ari hahandi wisanga wayarwaye kandi utazi aho wabikuye, niba usomana n’abantu benshi batandukanye, ntuzamenya aho wanduriye.

Bishobora kugutera isesemi: iyi sesemi ishobora no kugutera kuruka, akenshi ituruka ku kuba uwo musomanye yariye ibintu umubiri wawe udasanzwe ukunda. Ibi rero ushobora kutabyumva ako kanya ariko umubiri wo uba wabyumvise. Ninayo mpamvu harumuntu muzasomana mukanya gato ukumva ushatse kujya kuruka.

Uretse biriya tubonye gusomana habamo ibibi byinshi, hari umuntu uzasoma muminsi micye wisange warwaye iminwa yajeho ibisebe, uwo akenshi usanga abana n’indwara zitagize icyo zimutwaye, wowe zakugeramo umubiri wawe ukananirwa kwihagararaho. Niyo mpamvu ukwiye kwitwararika mbere yo gusomana n’umuntu uwariwe wese.

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